i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
