I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
