I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize