belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize