I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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