She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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