I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I will be naked everywhere
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize