Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
