i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
