i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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