That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You are the jesus of drinking
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
