sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My pussy is not your playground.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
