connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
