i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
