Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
