If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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