did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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