You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm just crazy horny about you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
