did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
