TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
