that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
