In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize