i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
