I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
