Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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