Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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