Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
