I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
