I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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