Will you blow on my dice?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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