Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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