i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
