How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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