do herpes really smell.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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