My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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