Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
