how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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