ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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