well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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