its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
