we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
