My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
