im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
