if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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