I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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