i think my tv is drunk
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
