I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
