I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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