I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
