Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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