So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
