My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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