just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
