The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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