By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
