There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
