I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The best revenge is premature balding
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
my poor anus
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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